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Sunday, June 24th, 2007
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12:50 pm
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| Wednesday, April 18th, 2007
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2:24 am
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| Saturday, April 7th, 2007
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3:25 am
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organized religion kinda makes me giggle...
current mood:  awake
current music: Beer in Mexico- Kenny Chesney
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 5th, 2007
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3:50 am - the male race
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i love the male race. not wait, i fucking hate them. men do nothing but think with their penis and i know that all too well. do not ever stereotype women when you have no idea what they have been through in the past.
tonight i have learned that the people who claim to be your friends really are not, and that every friendship comes with a grain of salt.
current mood:  angry
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 1st, 2007
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3:43 am
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| Monday, March 26th, 2007
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3:13 am - long awaited update
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wow, its been a long time since my last update. well, its not 3:30am and i cant sleep...i have class in the morning so that kinda sucks. my diving season is over, didnt make it back to NCAA's, bummer. oh well. my back has been getting worse and worse. after each season is over, i debate whether or not to dive the next year. i had surgery on my back a few weeks ago, and my doctor pretty much made the decision for me. now all i have to do is figure out whether or not im going to listen to him. im going to see another sports med doctor for a second opinion....we'll see.
school....wow i am going to be graduating in a year. i definately dont feel ready to enter the real world...hence i am going to law school. i am not sure where i am going yet, hopefully somewhere on the west or east coast. possibly NYU or Southern Cal. i am very excited for that, i cannot wait to get out of michigan and start somewhere new. a life without diving and some real time to focus on school and myself. im in the honors college at eastern and to graduate with departmental honors, you have to write a thesis...not a big deal. WRONG. my thesis is on the effects that collaberative learning have on the political ideological development of undergraduates. very exciting, i know....dont go to crazy on me. i am writing my thesis this year so next year hopefully i can have a somewhat stress free year. plus i had an opportunity to do an independent study with a great professor....and i know first hand the effects of senioritis. i am taking the LSAT in september....cant wait to get it over. i have been studying for a while now and i am taking a kaplan class in the summer to help me prepare. my GPA is good enough to get into pretty much anywhere, now everything depends on the LSAT, no pressure.
my parents are not being very supportive on the law school idea. this is my life we are talking about, not just something i am doing for the hell of it. i have put a ton of effort into my undergrad to be able to graduate at the top of my class with departmental honors. college has been a completely different story from highschool. i actually pay attention, learn, and do homework....i know crazy. they want me to stay in michigan, even suggesting that i go to law school somewhere like cooley (yuck) versus going to california and attending one of the top schools in the country (even if i get in). they cant seem to grasp the fact that my life has progressed significantly in many areas. if i have the drive and ability to go to one of the top law schools in the country, why would i turn that down? obviously they dont want me far away, but i want to forge a new life for myself. law school is a journey and the experience of a lifetime. why cant they be encouraging...not trying to hold me back.
so my love life pretty much sucks ass. end of story.
im going to be 21 in less than 3 weeks....cant wait. one of my really good friends is also turning 21 on the 20th of april, so i will be spending the weekend at state reuniting with old friends, also very exciting.
synopsis of the last year of my life complete....my goal is to update more often, i have kinda fallen away from lj
current mood: awake
current music: background noise- my tv
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, October 23rd, 2006
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10:44 pm
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i am 20 years old and afraid of the dark....everything comes back to haunt....i wish i could turn back the clock, do something different. what effect would it have had on my life? its all a mystery...because time machines dont exist.
current music: howie day
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, June 12th, 2006
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11:58 pm - life.... post diving
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so my diving career is quite possibly over. i gotta wait and see what the CT Scan says for sure, but back surgery is looming over my head. after surgery there will be no more diving....am i sad? i dont know yet. ive been thinking lately about life after diving and what it will be like and i really have no idea. ive always wanted to be a normal college student but now there is a good chance i am getting what i have wanted. honestly i have enjoyed not diving these past few months. i like not having to plan my life around practice. diving or gymnastics have been my life, i dont remember what it was like before i was an athlete. i was only 2. now i am 20 and i have no idea how to go about being a normal adult. will i regret not putting off surgery? i will miss being part of a team and having those people around me everyday, i think i will get very lonely. but i wont miss the pain that diving has caused me. i will be able to walk and sit and do stuff without pain after surgery. but diving is me. i am a diver, that is how i define myself. who will i be letting down? i am an NCAA qualifier, most people say i am too good to quit and that i will be wasting my talents. would it be a waste? that i dont know, i guess i can just hope for the best outcome...but i dont know what that is yet.
current mood:  thoughtful
current music: silence
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, March 12th, 2006
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5:47 pm - NCAA'S!!!
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| Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
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12:39 pm - oh my friend mono, why?
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my throat hurts!! ugh this mono thing really sucks. im definately feeling better tho starting last night. hopefully i can get back in the pool tomorrow or fridayish. i dont know, depends on my friend the doctor. im pretty psyched up for MAC's and Zones tho....cant wait!! i just feel like i have "cabin fever" sitting in this square of a dorm room for the past three weeks. thats all ive done...sucks. just my luck that i would get it a couple weeks before MAC's right? lol
school is good. im in the honors college and one of my professors is being a bitch about letting me contract my class which sucks. but on the upside i applied for a grant from the poli sci department to go to europe and write my thesis with a study abroad program. too bad i dont know what im gonna do my thesis on! that poses a problem...
i cant wait to get my apartment! me and jamie lee are getting a two bedroom at peninsular place on huron. we move in at the end of april/beginning of may. im so excited to finally live off campus! the dorms suck and i cant stand it anymore, only a few more months til sanity....
that is all.
current mood:  creative
current music: Panic! at the Disco
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, February 1st, 2006
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8:18 pm - suck
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yep...definately have mono. 3 weeks before MAC meet....i feel like shit on a stick.
current mood:  crappy
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, January 15th, 2006
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2:37 pm
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we kicked oakland's ass yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!! so excited about that, i dove really well....and won on one meter and got second to my teammate on three meter by less than a point. it rocked. they sucked. both the guys and the girls swim teams won...so there.
current mood:  pleased
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, January 12th, 2006
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10:56 pm - ding fries are done!
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today i am in a great mood. i got flex instead of meal plan by being mean to the dining services people, i applied to the honors college, and i am writing a paper to submit a paper to the undergraduate symposium here on political efficacy. i feel smart. some of my classes could be passed by a trained monkey. english for example: college students brainstorming on pieces of construction paper with markers and then taping those oh so wonderful pieces of construction paper onto the wall. nice. very nice. ah well....what are ya gonna do?
we have two meets this weekend...cant wait. i feel really good, super motivated and energized to kick some ass. i love feeling like that. i feel like an athlete again, its nice.
current mood:  crazy
current music: HIM- wings of a butterfly
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
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12:16 am - ho hum
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so its been a while. all is well here...if everything goes as planned i will be spending my summer in washington dc working at the supreme court as an intern doing bitch work for no pay...but it will rock! diving season is more than halfway over and i cant wait....my apartment that i will be living in this summer if i dont get the intership will rock too. but i would rather get the internship than live in my awesome apartment. i will be living there next year too with jamie lea, one of the divers here and a couple swimmers....cant wait!
one of the assistant coaches here who was an olympic medalist...pretty young too, died in a car accident on 94. speaking of accidents on 94...on sunday i was driving and randomly spun out into a ditch which totally sucked. the cop was a dick hole and i spent over 500 buckaroos getting the transmission on my car fixed and almost 200 getting it towed. needless to say, im broke.
we have two meets this weekend, IUPUI on friday and my favorite (oakland) on saturday. cant wait to kick their asses.
anywho, that is all...have a great night!
current mood: awake
current music: Law and Order on my TV
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 10th, 2005
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5:10 pm
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wow its been a long time since i have written in here. up at EMU diving and going to school. what up poli sci majors!!
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
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4:52 pm - the fire hydrant
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so yesterday...me, ryan, brent, evan, and sully got this awesome idea to steal the fire hydrant (not extinguisher, hydrant. a big yellow piece of cement) that was sitting on the sidewalk in pontiac because someone hit it with their car and knocked it off. so anyways, we are at the 7-11 and three of the guys pick it up and put it into my trunk and then we get the hell out of there. well there was this crazy lady in a blue jeep that decided to follow us. so we pulled into the arby's parking lot to try to lose her and she follows. so we fly to bootleg liquor and try to lose her there too. well she makes a couple circles around the parking lot and got my plate. so we took the fire hydrant back to oakland in case she decided to call the police or whatever because i guess it is a federal offense (felony). so we get back to the dorms, bring the fire hydrant inside and my friend erin called her friend who was a firefighter and he told us to put it back right away or else there was gonna be a warrant out for my arrest. so everyone flipped, me doing most of the flipping and we sent evan in his car to go scope it out and do cop check. mind you i cant take my car off campus because if i do and i get pulled over there is going to be a fire hydrant in my trunk. so we put it in ryans car, go to 7-11...dump it and come back. end of the fire hydrant story.
wow, we are so incredibly fucking stupid. who the hell steals a fire hydrant? me and my friends. i cannot believe the night we had last night.
current mood:  drained
current music: walking with a ghost- tegan and sara
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
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1:58 am - long time no entry
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so its been a while since ive written in this. not that much is goin on...got a job at victorias secret in somerset, i start thursday. i got a car, thats always good. my dad is going to turn the title over to me in a couple months. i think im transferring to EMU next year, but i dont know for sure...it depends where tony gets a job. if he doesnt get a job then im going to eastern, but if he gets a job then i will for sure follow him wherever he goes. hes been my coach for five years...its hard to leave that you know? best friend and coach all wrapped up in one...hard to let go of. this year has been great...me living on my own and shit. thank god i dont have to go home for the summer, i would seriously jump off a building. i am going to start diving again in a month...so we will see how that works out. hopefully i will be able to get back in shape for next years season. if not i can always redshirt, but i was hoping to save that year for trials. ah well...shit happens. bedtime...920 class. party tomorrow night at mikes with sam...cant wait!
current mood: sleepy
current music: title and registration- death cab for cutie
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005
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12:59 am - broadway is dark tonight...
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i miss diving. all i want to do if have that mixed feeling of power and precision. to feel the board under my feet and the smell of chlorine on my skin. i want to be becky the diver again. i used to bitch about how people only knew me as a diver and not as a person...but i have realized that diving is who i am and thats not a bad thing. for the first time in my life...im not doing anything remotely athletic becuase i cant. thats an awful feeling. to be completely helpless. NIC'S are this week and i want to wish all my boys good luck. as for the female divers...please go fuck yourself, linda...hope you dont fuck up your last chance to qualify to zones and GO NORTH FLORIDA!!! OU swimmers...SWIM FAST AND KICK ASS! im sorry i cant be there competing, you have no idea how bad i want to be. i will be there cheering the swimmers on!!
current mood: depressed
current music: tori amos
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
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2:48 am - goodbye is the hardest thing to say
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he was my best friend, my coach, and my big brother. he helped me through so much. he was always there for me no matter what. diving without him feels like there is a hole in my life...in my heart. i will always remember the funny times we had together, i will cherish the memories...but we are not a team anymore and it breaks my heart. we still talk a lot, i still see him a lot...but its not the same. i have some retard as a coach when for almost five years i had tony. i miss his stupid jokes and the lame stuff he always did. i dont even think i want to dive anymore. without tony, diving is nothing. he pushed me farther than i thought i could go, and even though sometimes i hated him for it, he was right. i dove today, and i cried. because there was no tony on deck. there was nothing left of him. it seems that everyone just forgot who he was. but i havent. i never will. him and amy are family to me. i miss my coach, i miss my best friend, and i miss the joy i used to have for diving.
current mood: sad
current music: slipknot- vermillion part 2
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, September 19th, 2004
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10:03 pm - three years old...and she makes me cry
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today i got a phone call from my coach asking for my address here, and i was a little scared becuase i thought it was going to be a mail bomb or something. he said it was a suprise. he later called me back, on his way to the hospital because he hurt himself barefooting and told me that his suprise was a letter from his three year old daughter because she thinks that i dont get much mail at school because im alone and she wanted to tell me how much she loved me and liked to play with me.
i never thought a three year old could make me cry this much.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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